My mom said something to me earlier this evening that really struck a chord. She said "You will find, daughter of mine, that as an adult you must choose 50/50 friends, friends that give as much time and effort to maintaining your relationship as you do." Today I ended my lengthy relationship with a close friend who did not, suffice it to say, give her 50.
I felt really bad for a little while after doing it, like maybe it was my fault that our friendship had failed, that maybe I was the inept one, not her. But that is not the case. I have a group of wonderful, supportive, caring and understanding 50/50 friends who have showed me that. I have friends that know when the time to celebrate Me is, and I know when the time to celebrate Them is. We can talk for hours and never try to outdo each other; we can just listen.
So now I have stopped beating myself up. I hate to hurt people, after watching other people in my life hurt the people that loved them most, but I understand that there was more anger than hurt involved on the opposite side of this situation, and that they probably don't have the capacity to be hurt by my words anyway.
Ending this relationship was the hardest thing I've had to do in a long time, but in the words of Meredith Grey:
"It's over. It's over. It's so over."
-Laur
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