So this strike has been really hard on me. I didn't realize how hard until my mom pointed something out to me earlier this evening.
I've been going to the gym pretty solidly since the beginning of December, and semi watching what I eat (which is saying something because I usually don't watch at ALL) but since the beginning of January I've felt this general malaise sinking in. It really began to bother me a few weeks ago when I noticed I was tired all the time, actually exhausted when I was getting lots of sleep, enough exercise and pretty okay nutrition.
It got so bad that I felt like I could barely function; going out with friends felt like work when it used to be something I enjoyed, and the other day when I had a cup of coffee I bounced off the walls like a pixy on crack for 3 hours and then crashed and burned when the caffeine wore off.
I made a doctors appointment because I really thought something was wrong, but wound up having to cancel the appointment when the Education students were called back to placement with very little warning. I probably should have just told my MT I couldn't come in because of the appointment, but I decided against it because I wanted to make a good impression. Another whatever when it comes to my MT, but that's another story for another post.
Anyways, I bought some vitamin-type stuff today before I worked out because I figured maybe I should get a little more of the things I was lacking. I take a women's one-a-day vitamin every morning, but perhaps I'm lacking B12 or something, so we'll see how that works out. But when I told my mom about it, she had another idea: depression.
I hate that word. It's a dirty word in my books because I have a side of the family that suffers from mental illness, and it often goes untreated. Depression isn't a problem that I want to have to face right now, but when I thought it for a minute, I realized Mom might be on to something. If I am depressed right now, I'm damn well entitled to be. I'm watching my graduation, the pieces of paper that right now define my future, slide slowly and greasily down the drain as this CUPE strike drags on and on. My work hours are being cut back because of the economic crisis, my job options getting cut in half, and my school work is entirely unappealing. If I am going through some sort of mental health crisis, it is not without catalyst.
Something has been kind of helping me through it, though; this show, a half hour sitcom from CBS called
How I Met Your Mother, never fails to crack me up and make me feel a little more in control of my world. That, and Neil Patrick Harris (the blonde guy sitting in the bathtub) rocks my world with his hilarious hijinks. The cast looks all hipster in that photo but in the show they're actually kind of real. The writing is brilliant, the storylines terrific and not too unbelievable, and the acting is right on par. I've worked my way through the first, second and third seasons and am just about ready to start the 4th and current season; who knows, I might even be able to start watching it in real time on LOL Mondays. It's preceded by another comedic jem called
The Big Bang Theory, which started last season and I'm also caught up on, but that's another story as well.
Premier Dalton McGuinty introduced a bill for back to work legislation regarding the strike today, so I could be back in school by February 2nd. All is not lost, and I hope that once I get back into it this depression, or whatever it is, goes away. For now I think I'll just keep watching
HIMYM and laugh my head off the next time Marshall slaps Barney.
-
Laur
I'm tired of the snow. But this picture, taken in the bus shelter at Clark and New Westminster during that last intense cold snap, brings the beauty of winter to life.
